Do you fans of National Lampoon’s Animal House recall this exchange?
Dean Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
Greg Marmalard: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They’re each outstanding in their own way.
Wormer: Cut the horseshit, son. I’ve got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
Marmalard: You’re talking about Delta, sir.
Wormer: Of course I’m talking about Delta, you twerp! This year is going to be different. This year we are going to grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus.
Marmalard: What do you intend to do sir? Delta’s already on probation.
Wormer: They are?
Marmalard: Yes, sir.
Wormer: Oh. Then as of this moment, they’re on double secret probation!
Marmalard: Double secret probation, Sir?
Wormer: There is a little-known codicil in the Faber College constitution which gives the dean unlimited power to preserve order in time of campus emergency. Find me a way to revoke Delta’s charter.