Month: July 2011

Fiction: Illumination

Posted on by bryon

“The city’s swimming pools were full again today as we wind up our record-breaking third week of 100-plus-degree days,” the TV weatherman said over images of children splashing around. “My, doesn’t that look nice and cool! They’ll likely be there again tomorrow and the next day as there’s no relief in sight.”

Craig looked up from his tablet and scowled. He picked up the remote and muted the volume. It was bad enough to suffer the heat without listening to some idiot prattle on about it. Almost unheard over the window air conditioner, his children splashed happily in the horse tank he had filled for them to swim in. The nearest town with a swimming pool was ten miles away, and the water was too heavily chlorinated for Kathy to tolerate.

Jane glanced briefly at the now-quiet TV and her husband. She kept working to get the family’s dinner ready. The water for the spaghetti was about to boil. “It’s really too hot for this,” she said to herself. “Can’t live on sandwiches all summer.”

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Pen to Paper: Long Live the Serial Comma

Posted on by bryon

Let me come straight out with it: I like the serial comma. It has an elegance and often a usefulness that I appreciate. Still, I don’t go into a meltdown when a writer doesn’t use one (unless it would have improved the sentence); there are bigger dragons to battle.

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Fiction: Unnatural Selection

Posted on by bryon

“And when she went to the drugstore to get more aspirin,” Frank said, “they told her she’d already bought the government-set limit for the month. Of course, her husband couldn’t buy it either.”

“Shhh!”

“What’s wrong, Janie?”

“Quiet!”

Outside, a soft drone quickly grew, and the children burst through the back door, screaming.

“Turtles! Turtles!”

“I hear them now,” Frank said.

“Make sure the windows are closed,” Janie said. “I’ll check upstairs.”

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Pen to Paper: The Declaration of Independence

Posted on by bryon

“It is the glorious 4th of July!”
– John Adams

And so it is. Today we celebrate the anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence.

The Declaration was written by Thomas Jefferson. John Adams had noted Jefferson’s “happy talent for composition” and “remarkable felicity of expression” and assigned the paperwork to him. Unlike young men today, Jefferson protested that he was the junior member of the committee; surely an older, wiser, more experienced man such as Benjamin Franklin or Adams himself should write the crucial paper. Adams responded that anything he wrote would be savaged merely because it came from him. Besides, he told Jefferson, “You write ten times better than I do,” which is something you wouldn’t hear from a lot of older, wiser, more experienced men.

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OT: Pets and the 4th of July

Posted on by bryon

A reminder from the cat side of Catsignal that some of the joys of Independence Day celebrations are lost on the four-footed set. Study this list of cautions from the ASPCA and keep it holy.

One more important matter the ASPCA doesn’t mention: There’s at least one in every crowd who will attempt to do something “entertaining” yet moronically stupid to your pet, like hold it up by its ears or give it a swig of beer. Also, there are some parents who will let their children pester and persecute an animal and yet be outraged when the pet has finally had enough and protects itself. Keep a careful watch on your furry companion to prevent this sort of lunacy.