He found the note lying on top of his favorite coffee mug.
I’m leaving you for Stephen Kotzenpillar. I can’t stand another minute in our alleged marriage — especially the stale, boring, unimaginative, unexciting, unfulfilling, so-called sex. I want out, and I’m getting out.
A man is at his lawyer’s office. The lawyer says, “Geoff, this is your third divorce. This is stupid. Tell you what you do: just go out every five or six years, find a woman you can’t stand and buy her a house.”
A kid comes up on a man’s porch. “Say, mister, did you see the truck that hit your dog?”
“Neither did your dog.”