Fiction: Two Prisoners on the Eve of Battle

“Drink up, lads!” the king yelled. “Tonight we feast, and tomorrow we storm the castle!”

A cheer rose from manly throats eager to dine and drink.

But not from Thomas. He casually wandered away from the roast beeves and the hogsheads of ale.

He went off into the woods, alone. When he came to a little clearing, he sat on the ground and rested against a stout tree.

“There must be more to life than storming castle after castle on the say-so of a mad king,” he muttered.

“Couldn’t agree more,” said an unexpected voice.

Thomas looked up and saw a man emerge from behind a tree. The man was adjusting his lower garments, making it easy to guess what chore of nature he had been tending to.

“Who’s there?” Thomas asked.

“Nobody important. Just the son of the mad king who keeps ordering us to storm castles.”

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Fiction: Their Serene Majesties

Once upon a time, in the faraway land of Arevnia, there lived a handsome king and a beautiful queen. Their Serene Majesties lived in a strong, beautiful castle set midway between the top of a beautiful mountain and a beautiful valley with a long, beautiful lake that trailed off beautifully into the distance. And all their people loved them, and they were very happy.

Just not with each other.

Theirs was a match made in, at best, one of Heaven’s slums, where the Protestant work ethic had never taken root. Heaven’s management held to a strict policy of “no comment” on the matter.

They had loved each other well at first, and had gone to the altar full of joy. Shortly thereafter, however, they began to notice little habits and idiosyncracies and one strained nerve led to another, as will happen. Passion’s flame flickered and faded and they then saw each other in the light of cold wax and charred wick and took a dim view of the subject. Rather than live and let live and love, as wiser couples learn to do, King Arvid and Queen Shelly took counsel of General Grant near Spotsylvania Courthouse and fought it out on that line all summer. And into the fall. And winter…

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