Author’s Note: Catsignal Turns 10

Catsignal is not the happy, boisterous 10-year-old I had once envisioned it would be. The earlier days of weekly stories are long gone. The occasional haiku and even more occasional essay are about all that happen around here anymore. If ever I find the cognitive power to change that, I will. At present, chronic fatigue syndrome keeps me sleepy and brain-fogged.

On this anniversary, it seems more reasonable to look back rather than ahead. So, for those who might like to revisit the old days – or if you’re new here and wonder where to begin – here is a short list of some of my favorite stories, in chronological order.

Papal Bull

In Sure and Certain Hope

The Master of Rusbridge Manor

Folding Money

Fallen Gods

Katydid

Red Riding Hood and the Wolves

Time in a Bottle

One Low Payment

Bobblehead

Birth Order

The Devil You Know

The Last Reunion of the Capper Gang

Exposed

Angels We Have Heard While High

Personal Ad

Hansel and His Visit to the Enchanted Part of the Forest

Precarious Balance

OT: Getting Personal

So, I haven’t been around much in the past year. Sure, the haiku, the quotes, the tweet-sized fiction and the occasional story have been getting posted. But I haven’t made myself known to my readers in ways that I used to. It’s just been pretty mechanical.

And September was the first month since I started Catsignal that I haven’t had at least one story up for you to read. I don’t know how you felt about that, but it makes me sad. On the other hand, the caliber of stories I’ve been writing has made me sad, too. I just don’t have the energy to put into my writing … or anything else, either.

Years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia syndrome / chronic fatigue syndrome. What that’s meant is that every waking moment I’ve been in pain (and lucky that it’s only my waking moments), and I’ve had less energy to do things than a normal person does.

The fibromyalgia doesn’t actively bother me like it used to; I think I’ve simply become accustomed to a certain level of pain. Sometimes it’s worse, but then it goes back to normal for me. But this past year, the chronic fatigue syndrome has been kicking my ass. I’ve often slept 12 of 24 hours and have been so tired in the time I’ve been awake that I couldn’t focus on anything. Cats have nothing on me for naps. It’s like those last 10 minutes before you go to sleep at night. Think about how you feel then and how productive you are.

I’m not abandoning Catsignal or going on hiatus. As Jonny Geller tells us, “The only thing worse than a deadline for a writer is no deadline.” I still need something to strive for, and I want this place to be active if this problem happens to ease up. I’m working with my doctor on this, but the simple fact is that there is no cure. I keep looking for palliatives but haven’t found any.

I wanted to tell you what the deal with me is and why the site has been so dull (to my eyes, at least). I want to educate more people about FMS/CFS. It’s a real thing that screws up real lives. Like the bride with CFS who was able to attend her wedding but had to skip her reception because she was just too fatigued. It’s not boredom. It’s not laziness. It’s an illness.

Well, anyway, that’s me. How are you doing?

Catsignal Turns 3

This is Catsignal’s third birthday. What we need to really make this a party is more people. If you enjoy reading Catsignal, tell a few of your friends how much fun we have here. Join the discussions and comment on everything in sight.

If you’re new here, you’ve got three years’ worth of archives to catch up on: that’s more than 150 short stories, more than 150 haiku, and a few dozen each of essays and quotations about writers and writing. That ought to keep you off the streets and entertained for a while.

And thank you for being here.

 

Catsignal Turns 2

Catsignal is two years old today. Like any toddler, it has its ups and downs, its little successes and its little failures. But I’m pleased to still be doing this after two years and to still be enjoying myself.

I hope you’ll help me celebrate by telling someone — a friend, a family member, a word-loving acquaintance — about Catsignal. Now that I have stuff here to read, I’d like to know that more people are reading it. Comments on what works and what doesn’t work in a particular haiku or story are always welcome.

And now, we join our regularly scheduled haiku, already in progress.